Tuesday, February 11, 2014

High Pedestal

I haven't had a bad day in a long time. Life has been almost perfect, cliche as it may sound, but it was as though I'm living a little dream. I discovered diving all over again with a brand new perspective; I'm doing what I like for a living; I have my family healthy, safe and happy; and I have someone to account to and account for. In short, I'm grateful for what I have and my heart is full.

Things underwent a reality check yesternight. I never knew I could be this compromising but I surprised myself. I took a little pity on myself but I knew I had to do whatever I could to make another happy. Truth to be told, ever since I took the giant leap of faith with much uncertainty and fear, I never looked back. Simply because it just IS worth it. But that didn't stop me from feeling a little annoyed at myself for feeling undervalued. Perhaps it's the combination of work stress, fatigue and my snappiness. Perhaps I thought I was a bigger person than I am. Perhaps

Today was bad. Plain bad. I don't think I've been shouted at by anyone except my parents, save for my training days and quarrels which turned out ugly. It was almost insulting. I took a reality check again whether I'm ever going to make a cut in this profession. This may be an experience that will bring me to greater heights, this may be a test for me. But it could also be a revelation that I'm not emotionally strong enough to deal with this. 

With all my heart I pray for this week to pass. 

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