Bravery

I think I have never been braver in my life.

It feels like I am 16 all over again, trying to weigh what is right and what is wrong again. And this time round, I know you are the right no matter what others might say. I want to see the you that I see, and I want them to also understand how beautiful a person you are. I am proud of you and I want everybody to know who you are.

-Peggy Chang

High Pedestal

I haven't had a bad day in a long time. Life has been almost perfect, cliche as it may sound, but it was as though I'm living a little dream. I discovered diving all over again with a brand new perspective; I'm doing what I like for a living; I have my family healthy, safe and happy; and I have someone to account to and account for. In short, I'm grateful for what I have and my heart is full.

Things underwent a reality check yesternight. I never knew I could be this compromising but I surprised myself. I took a little pity on myself but I knew I had to do whatever I could to make another happy. Truth to be told, ever since I took the giant leap of faith with much uncertainty and fear, I never looked back. Simply because it just IS worth it. But that didn't stop me from feeling a little annoyed at myself for feeling undervalued. Perhaps it's the combination of work stress, fatigue and my snappiness. Perhaps I thought I was a bigger person than I am. Perhaps. 

Today was bad. Plain bad. I don't think I've been shouted at by anyone except my parents, save for my training days and quarrels which turned out ugly. It was almost insulting. I took a reality check again whether I'm ever going to make a cut in this profession. This may be an experience that will bring me to greater heights, this may be a test for me. But it could also be a revelation that I'm not emotionally strong enough to deal with this. 

With all my heart I pray for this week to pass. 

In your arms and I'm home.

They say Home is where the heart is. I think I really miss home a lot. Samui has been nothing short of perfect. I wouldn't say it's a well-deserved break for me (who goes for trip randomly during Revision anyway), but it's definitely The trip. One more reason to look forward to post-exams, one more reason to study even harder, one more reason to do the happy dance. The trip may have come to an end, let it be the start of a journey?

Starting to feel burnt out by the whole revision thingamy. Doesn't help that I have seven days straight ahead. Need lots of sleep + time + discipline. Oh no need to pray doubly hard and accumulate lots of good karma lol.

Alrighty, that's all for now cause my life's boring now and my eyes are shutting.
Till the next,
xoxo

We accept the love we deserve.

3am, wide awake in front of the laptop.
In 5hours’ time I’ll be leaving in a plane, talk about spontaneity.
No, I’m not losing sleep from excitement. I was suddenly jolted awake at the thought of liquid prohibition in the aircraft. What a worrywart –.-
Then I went on to watch jie’s wedding videos, from bridal shower to actually wedding.
Totally cried myself silly.
And her thank you note.
I can’t stop crying and crying and crying.
I don’t know why it’s still so overwhelming.
I’ll prolly not get married next time. I can totally foresee myself crying and crying and crying.
That’ll be hilarious.

Oh, back to the whole taking a plane in 5hours’ time.
Feels like I’ve been counting down my whole life just for it.
Can’t believe this trip is really coming through.
Surreal. Exciting.
But now, I’m feeling kinda light-headed.

Should I sleep again and take the risk of oversleeping?
That’s The Question.

And till I’m back,
xoxo.