Monday, July 25, 2016

Me

Too often I forget to write here,
other times I don't want any one to know about my life.
It's been a roller-coaster ride thus far,
and I'm still trying to find my footing.
It's only gonna get better!

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Stay strong; stay clear

It's been a really long time since I wrote here. I used to like to document every single detail of my life here, and read back some time later and realise how silly I was and how much I've grown. Then I outgrew this and decided that solving problems and overcoming adversities with maturity is more important than having everything penned down. But after this long while, it struck me that the lessons learnt will stay with me forever, whether I document them down or not.

Entering May, it's been one hell of a roller-coaster ride. I gave my all, one time to many, fell into one of my lowest point, allowed myself to be weak. Some say I hold on too tight, some say I never learn my lesson, some say I move too quick. Truth is, I'm scared. Scared of loneliness, scared of being neglected, scared of being obsolete, scared of separation. Independent and tough I may appear to be, I'm as vulnerable as any one else, if not more.

I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity, I chose the path I took, the risks I'm taking.

Stay strong, my heart. Stay clear, my mind.

Monday, January 11, 2016

The world's mine oyster

Finally closed a chapter of my life, one day too late.

"Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back; don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world"

I made a whole list of things I've always wished to do:-

1) Take my IE already
2) Sky diving
3) Dive Maldives
4) Dive Malapascua
5) Revisit Sipadan
6) OZ roadtrip
7) See snow
8) Ski
9) Make a snow angel
10) Sky diving
11) Visit NYC (Bonus: on NYE)
12) To be able to drink (not like a loser)
13) Climb a mountain/volcano again
14) Stop budget travelling
15) Read books
16) Muay Thai
17) Pole dancing

It's a very bold list, yes I know. How do I sky dive when I'm so afraid of heights?

Friday, November 27, 2015

MOALBOAL 2015

So Moalboal turned out to be less fun than I thought it would be. Unfortunately it's a pretty forgettable trip.







But I'll always be chasing sunsets on the other side.
Can't wait for The Yearly Pilgrimage to Bali (and hopefully #BelachanShore) next year!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

My travel stories (well... sort of)

Other than the usual teaching trips that T and I go on (almost monthly, if not every other week), we try to make it a point to travel for leisure twice every year. Fortunately, or unfortunately, most, if not all, our trips are still diving trips.

Below are just some of the highlights of some of the trips we've been on together. It wasn't difficult picking out these photos cause we don't have that many photos of our trips :( Too many trips we've been on, we did not manage to capture them in some form :(


Bali


Bali


Bali


#BelachanShore


#BelachanShore

Bintan - non-diving trip


Bintan - non-diving trip

Desaru - non-diving trip, although a group of dive pros travelled together. This proves that dive pros are capable of doing other sports too!


Desaru - non-diving trip

Desaru - non-diving trip

Desaru - non-diving trip

Bali revisited

Bali revisited

Bali revisited

Bali revisited

Bali revisited

Anambas - who says teaching trips are always boring?

Tioman


No idea why I can't seem to find photos of us during our first Bali trip and short escapade to Batam :x


And I celebrated my birthday in Hong Kong! :)








So, as evident above, we've been diving a lot around this region only, but there's so much to explore and we are still not done yet. I think we've been very ambitious to want to return to Bali and #BelachanShore every year - sadly, we did not manage to go back to #BelachanShore this year due to time constraints.

To many, my holidays are boring because our usual conversation will go:-
friend: "where are you going for holiday?"
me: "bali!"
friend: "wow cool!"
me: "for diving"
friend: "again?!"
HAHAHAHAHA! But not complaining, I can understand that non-divers will never understand, just like they will never know what they're missing out on. Which brings me to the point, what do people do on a beach vacay if they don't dive? I really cannot accept the fact that people travel all the way to Maldives, spend a week there, doing NOTHING, like absolutely nothing, Bake in the sun for the entire week? Cool story bro.

Anyhoots, back to my travel stories, T and I were planning to go somewhere both of us have never been this year end. We were toying with the idea of a road trip in Oz since I've only been to Perth (3 times to be exact) and he's been to Sydney, so we should do a road trip to visit places we've never been before. So exciting just thinking about driving a caravan around and visiting beautiful places! But because Oz is so huge and we are very greedy people, we want to visit all the places in Oz that we come across on the Internet:-

Whitehaven beach

Byron Bay

Great Ocean Drive

Northern Territories

Tasmania

So... yeah. Because of our greediness, it is impossible to plan a road trip which can cover all the places we want to visit in such a short time frame. We'll do it when... we finally get down to serious work :x

We considered visiting Hanoi + Sapa, since both of us have not visited Vietnam before. In fact, we were already tracking air tickets and have already shortlisted the accommodations and things to do when a friend suggested a diving trip. Since he's doing the planning and we've never been to this place, we agreed to go along with his plans instead.

So
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

WE'RE GOING TO MOALBOAL!



I'm already excited just saying this! Hopefully we get to see the sardine ball, which hopefully in turn attracts the threshers!







Trying not to get the excitement get ahead of me, but I really can't wait to dive in MoalBoal because (i) I've never been to the Philippines before; and (ii) I really hope to see the sardine ball!

Ok, off to hyperventilate, till the next!
xx

Monday, September 28, 2015

Random musings.

Sad that Gwen's leaving, but at least we got to eat super dope Marriott buffet :p



Little Lun feeling amused looking at his twin.


Using the fish eye lens from an ah beng shop in Sim Lim :x

We got so amused T actually bought one for himself LOL.



So stuffed with mooncakes last night, but I'm craving for mooncakes now :(

Jasper's all grown up (and that means I'm all growing old).

Jordan did his AOWD recently so here's a photo of us.

Can't wait for my exciting October + November to be hereeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

LONG TERM


Something that struck me hard here. So much feels.


Soooo bumped by work interfering with the much-anticipated Dayang trip. To think I actually chose this over #BelachanShore, and now this! Urghhhhhh. This is a good reason to own a boat! Pffffttttt.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

The Difference In Being Left, And Leaving The One You Love

When you’re left by the one you love, you wonder what you did wrong. You wonder what made them stop loving you, and you wonder if you could’ve done anything to change it.

When you’re the one leaving, you hear the thoughts they leave unspoken. You feel like you know exactly what they’re thinking and you wish you could stop them from ruminating on these distorted beliefs. You know they’re trying to piece together the spaces you left open, but not even you know how to fill in the gaps. You didn’t realize leaving would be so difficult.

When you’re left by the one you love, your hurt manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes the hurt comes out as anger, as spiteful words you use to hurt them back. Sometimes the hurt doesn’t come out at all, and lives in deep denial. Sometimes the hurt numbs you to anything else so that hurt is the only feeling.

When you’re the one leaving, hurt causes a different type of pain. You don’t feel the force of the initial impact, but you see and feel the bruises that form and remain long after. You feel like the hurt you’re feeling is unfair to be felt, but you’re hurting because of the hurt you caused in someone else.

When you’re left by the one you love, you hope time will heal the pain. You count the days, weeks and months that go by and ask yourself if it’s actually getting any better. You think it’s time that’s lessening the impact, but really it’s just living.

When you’re the one leaving, time is insignificant. You don’t feel it passing or standing still, you just sort of know it’s happening. You don’t stay up at night thinking about tomorrow, you just take it day by day.

When you’re left by the one you love, you’re reminded of them at every corner. They’re waiting for you in the restaurant you ate at on your birthday, in the park where you had your first date, they’re everywhere. And even when you try to avoid these places, in fear of the memories they’ll bring up, there’s no running or hiding that will make them go away. Even in your own apartment, you sit on the couch you both had to build together.

When you’re the one leaving, the memories still follow you around, but the avoiding is less of an undertaking. You don’t feel the excessive need to run or hide because that restaurant doesn’t scare you, and neither does the park. They make you remember, but you don’t mind the memories, you actually enjoy them.

Being left and leaving are two different things, but it doesn’t make either one any less difficult.

Thank you, Thought Catalog

Mega throwback

Mega throwback post!

So many random thoughts going through my head now and I started looking at super back-dated photos on Facebook and found these gems. I'm sure I have more epic ones somewhere in my disks haha! Looking at these photos really makes me miss the younger days.

************************

HPT
These photos bring back so many bitter-sweet memories. No idea what was in my mind when we went through the training camps (navy SEALS style no less), ropes training, cheering sessions, and all that screaming and getting screamed at. Looking back, I must have looked damn stupid and kuku. But those were also the best days of my secondary school life! Learnt so much which I'll otherwise never have been exposed to. Heck, I may not even enjoy the outdoors. Many in school would think that the HPT people are all very AYG (which I definitely don't deny haha), but I think HPT also helped sooooo many of us from turning into xiao lianzx and xiao bengzx. Thinking about how much we cried and fought when two of our own got suspended. So much memories I can't even... One thing I wish I had done was to spend more time on HPT activities. I had so many tuition lessons back then sigh.



***********************

AJC CHEER
Never thought I'll join cheer-leading... but I did. It was so much fun! Remember those nights practicing our moves in the middle of the (dark) parade square and being the awkward ones out for not being able to remember the moves. :')


**********************

AJC
Rachel and I weren't close to anyone in class (until today we still don't know why haha. Maybe we both have chaobin that's why LOL), so we only had each other. But I'm still very thankful for Rachel - although we hardly ever meet, we are still pretty updated with each other's lives and there's never an awkward moment between us. Here are some of the few photos I have with the rest of the class.



*********************
ODAC
This is where I spent the better part of my JC life. With the crazy ODACians doing crazier things. From having zero stamina to running on the track everyday, from getting DQ-ed from our first ever adventure race to getting champion in almost all the races (this is truly one of our greatest personal achievements, beating our strongest competitor haha), from conquering mountains to sailing seas. They were the ones who held me together and gave me the push when I almost got retained in year 1, and saw me (crying) through my year 2. We did so much crazy things like building a house in the middle of the parade square and flying a kite at the back of our kayaks. We even tried to kill a fish (but failed terribly so we had to throw the fish away) to prove that we were real outdoor people haha. On hindsight, it's soooo cruel! :( I wished I had more time (and strength) with these people. I was really at my peak physically when I was in ODAC (surprisingly, not during my gym days, although I can't quite decide which training is tougher).







This photo deserves a special mention because... THAT'S MY FAVOURITEST SHOE EVERRRR. No idea where it is now but it has went through so much with me. No other shoes will ever be the same. Hu~ hu~ hu~ :'(






*************************

FAMILY
Family will always be family. Look at how young we looked! 






***********************

MY GIRLS
I think I have many friends in secondary school but this was the closest bunch. Had so much laughter and tears with them! Unfortunately, so much have changed over the years but I'm glad I still have the two closest to heart. Won't trade them for anything else in the world. :')






To many good years ahead,
xx